Tuesday, September 11, 2012

9-11-12 A New Beginning

On September 11, 2001 I knew my life as I had always known it was over.  I had lost my husband earlier that year, and was talking to my friend and dance partner who was at Windows On The World when the plane hit.   He had become my lifeline during the months preceding that horrible day. Making sure I left the house to take care of the livestock, keeping the business going, Breathing, thinking, trying to keep my faith and move on. On that day, Randy had called to make sure that I was indeed on my way to meet him in NYC for a trip Upstate for a competition, I was watching the news as the plane hit the building, He asked what had happened and I told him. We stayed on the phone until the signal failed. His last words to me were, Promise me that you won't stop living, and Always Always Remember I Love You!
 I haven't honored him the way that I should, I fell into a bag of potato chips and stayed there for 9 years, doing the bare minimum, feeling sorry for myself and unworthy, I know I know Stupid Huh?  Two years ago things started to change,2 People came into my life that saw what I had buried so deeply under 300 lbs and took my hand and said that they wanted me around. That what I had here was special and I owed it to myself to at least try what they suggested. 240lbs down and a lot of bumps and bruises later, I know that they are right. I have decided to stop wasting time, I know that life can change in an instant, and I know that I have something to say and a difference to make in my world. The world of Agriculture. Yesterday I had surgery to fix a problem that was preventing me from doing many of the the things I love, and I made a decision.
9-11 is now more than a day of remembrance for me. It is the day that I made the vow to honor my friend and live life to the fullest, Share my passions, and be the example that I should have always been. Who knows! Maybe someday I will even Dance again. I have a lit of repairing to do, relationships, Business reliability, and the list goes on. But you know something? I will do it!